Tag Archives: The Vision

Kim Gordon & How To Rock On
At Every Age

Kim Gordon In Elle

In Elle Magazine’s May Women In Music Issue, Lizzy Goodman wrote a profile on Kim Gordon, founder and singer/songwriter/bass and guitar player of Sonic Youth, that put the lie to any notion any of us may have that it’s “too late,” that our opportunities have passed us by, that the choices we made in the early days of our youth have locked us in, like cement, that we aren’t still perfectly free to make a glorious,  noise for the next decades of our lives. She’s a reminder to rock on until the stone’s rolled over our grave or our bodies are set ablaze, whichever the case may be, and an exemplar of what it looks like, in the words of Fleetwood Mac, to “handle the seasons of [our] li[ves].”

Gordon at 59 has started a new band, is painting like a fiend, and she’s dating again, being squired about by younger men, a restauranteur, actor and architect among them, following the end of he long marriage to Thurston Moore, her Sonic Youth co-founder and bandmate, and father of her young adult daughter Coco. The marriage ended as these things sometimes do — a midlife crisis, an affair with another woman, counseling, Thurston’s unwillingness, or inability, to leave the other woman so as to knit his family back into a piece.  Gordon is honest about the toll this loss took, and it’s her honesty that makes this next turn of her professional and personal screw so instructive for the many of us who, having taken a hit or two by the time we were 30 or 40 or 50 or so, wonder not so much how we can get back up and keep going — there’s something innate in the human survival instinct that allows us to do that — but how we can rise like a phoenix from the ash and set this world ablaze.

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Becoming Powerful


This post was updated on May 10, 2013 at 7:00pm. 

If you’ve ever walked through the world feeling powerful and confident, you know that power and confidence can be felt in the body. Like the endorphin rush of exercise, they buoy you. If you grew up with that feeling, and sustained it into adulthood, you may take the feeling for granted, may not even know it’s there. That is, until it’s gone.

My hope for you, of course is, that your experiences with the loss of power will be of the mundane variety, like the mild anxiety before giving a big speech, or going on an important job interview, or arriving at an event where you don’t know anyone, but want to make a strong impression.

The social psychologist and Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy, known for her research on non-verbal communication, stereotyping and discrimination, emotions, power, and the effects of social stimuli on hormone levels, suffered a much greater loss of power following a brain injury, sustained in a car accident when she was 19. I experienced a similar loss of power when all of a sudden, at the height of success in my budding screenwriting career, I found myself significantly cognitively impaired. Which is why I hung on Cuddy’s every word when I first heard her TED Talk on body language and found there the answers I’d been looking for for over 10 years. I’d wanted to know how I could regain the unwavering sense of power and confidence I’d had, then lost and been unable to fully regain.

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Musician Amanda Palmer’s
Heart Opening TED Talk

I am drawn to two very different kinds of people, people who live at the center of things, and people who live at the edge. Those at the edge have always frightened and fascinated me. They are the authors of innovation, not because they seek to innovate, but because the distance they stand from the center affords them a different kind of sight. They see possibilities in things that others might dismiss. I have seen with this same kind of outsider’s eye while also craving an insider’s sense of balance and place. Lately I’ve made peace with these hungers and embraced the decidedly ordinary parts of who I am: the me who wants to say something new and offer something of value, but who also wants to connect and find the places where I fit in this world. I thought of these twin hungers of mine, to be ordinary, to be extraordinary, while listening to musician Amanda Palmer‘s TED talk on The Art Of Asking, which is really a talk about human connection, the kind of deep human connection we all long for and too rarely experience.

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I Want It All, Et Vous?

I Want It All

Want It All Collage

Perhaps you think I’m greedy, perhaps you know what I mean. I want it all. I want a career that means something to me, a family that’s happy, and time enough to frolic the world, working and playing and blurring the lines between what I do for money, and what I do for love.

I want to be like the turtle in the picture above, first posted on our REVEL LIFE Tumblr. 

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Can You See
How Beautiful You Are?

I’m a fan of the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty even if I’m not always a fan of the aesthetics or even of the end goal (the “underarm conversation” campaign stands out since I’ve never once considered the possibility that my underarms were or could be ugly. Ugly underarms, is that really a thing — and if it were, couldn’t you solve the problem by, you know, wearing a shirt with sleeves? I mean, do you really need a product for that?

But criticisms aside, I’ve never doubted Dove intentions, which, yes, includes selling product, but I also believe they genuinely want women to feel good about themselves and their bodies while they’re using all those products from Dove. Call me gullible, but after seeing their latest Dove Real Beauty Sketches, I’m even more convinced of their good intentions. Of course, telling stories and not tying it to the sale of a specific product is smart business these days. As social media renegade Amy Jo Martin explains in her informative and entertaining book, Renegades Write The Rules, success no longer belongs to the brand that bombards consumers with the most adds; it belongs to the brand that builds genuine relationships of affinity with real people. One way to do this is to tell stories, which is why it’s been said that, in today’s world, every brand is a media brand. Brands are no longer selling products, they’re selling stories — not about what a brand does, but about why it does it. It’s an idea Amy Jo Martin borrowed from Simon Sinek’s TED Talk in which he explained the difference between brands that lead their industries and everyone else. 

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